Your Kids Don’t Want Your Stuff (And That’s Okay)

Gina H.
Sep 16
3 min read

I’ve been every size and I am every woman, but let’s face it: time and gravity don’t lie. And in today’s Ozempic world, where everything’s supposed to be slimmed down, there’s one truth you can’t avoid: your kids don’t want your stuff.

Not the gadgets, not the furniture, not the “collectibles” you swore would fund retirement. Some of it they might take out of guilt, but let’s not confuse that with desire.

What They Might Actually Want

Let’s start on a positive note: not everything is destined for the donation bin. Your kids may want:

Cookware Built to Last – Cast-iron skillets, Dutch ovens, stainless steel pans that could outlive a small sedan. These are timeless, and people actually fight over them.
A Few Classic Pieces – A mid-century sideboard, a solid dining table (not the particle board kind), or a chair with some real character. Key word: a few.
Family Photos & Sentimental Items – Albums, handwritten letters, and the occasional heirloom. These are the real treasures, and they don’t take up half the garage.

Okay, now that we’ve honored the exceptions, let’s get into the fun part: all the things your kids definitely don’t want.

1. Trendy Gadgets That Promised to Change Your Life

We’ve all fallen for them. The bread machine (used twice), the George Foreman grill (lived under the sink for a decade), the ice cream maker (that required three days of prep and produced chalk-flavored slush).

These gadgets weren’t heirlooms. They were momentary distractions. And no, your kids aren’t going to “circle back” to them.

2. As Seen on TV: The Hall of Fame of Nope

If it came from a late-night infomercial, it’s not making the cut. Highlights include:

ShamWow! – It didn’t wow.
Slap Chop – Equal parts onion bits and Band-Aids.
Salad Shooter – Sprayed carrots across the kitchen like confetti.
Magic Bullet – Gave you smoothies with mystery chunks.
Suzanne Somers’ ThighMaster – Didn’t master much.
Shake Weight – We don’t even need to explain this one.

These belong in the Smithsonian of Regret, not your estate plan.

3. Appliances That Looked Good on QVC

Juicers, rotisseries, countertop woks, fondue fountains — all promised to make meals “fast and easy.” What they delivered was 90 minutes of cleanup and one more reason to order pizza.

Your kids have DoorDash. They’re not waiting for a Ronco Rotisserie to “set it and forget it.”

4. Furniture (and Fads) That Require a Forklift

“Built to last” sounded great until you realized it meant oak heavy enough to crush a Prius. We’re talking entertainment centers built for TVs that no longer exist, sectionals the size of small zip codes, and dining hutches that need a moving permit.

And then there’s the La-Z-Boy recliner. People swore it was an investment piece. Let’s be honest: it wasn’t. The resale market for these things is basically Craigslist for free — if you’re willing to pick it up yourself.

While we’re at it, let’s not forget the Lalabu stuffed dolls — those little plush keychains dangling from purses. Cute in the moment, sure. But I actually saw one bouncing along the road behind a car like a runaway mascot. Collectible? Not so much.

In the Ozempic world, kids want slim, sleek, and portable. Not something that requires blueprints, a forklift, or plushies that look like they survived freeway traffic.

5. Collectibles That Weren’t Collectible

This one stings. We thought we were investors. Turns out, we were just curators of dust.

Beanie Babies – Worth about 25 cents each.
Longaberger baskets – Entire basements full. Zero resale market.
Commemorative plates – Nothing says fine dining like a plate you can’t eat off.
Franklin Mint figurines – Belonged in a cabinet, not Sotheby’s.

Your kids aren’t impressed. They’d rather have Venmo.

The Bottom Line

Decluttering isn’t just about making space. It’s about being realistic: your kids don’t want your stuff. Donate what you can, sell what’s worth selling, and send the rest on its merry way.

Because your legacy isn’t the La-Z-Boy recliner or the Suzanne Somers ThighMaster. It’s the love, the laughs, the stories, and maybe — just maybe — that cast-iron skillet everyone fights over.

The rest? It belongs in the Smithsonian of Stuff That Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time.